More branding

I had never noticed this until a co-worker pointed it out a few years ago, but the whitespace between the 'E' and the 'x' in the FedEx logo actually intentionally makes an arrow shape.  Now I see it every time I see a FedEx van.  The other day I saw a poster in my local FedEx Kinkos store that had a photograph of a FedEx van somewhere in the middle-east.  The logo was in Arabic, and had an arrow, too!

Work hazards

One of the problems with working with a bunch of professional audio engineers is that they tend to ruin the experience of enjoying music.  I just had one of our speaker guys point out how badly recorded a piece of music I purchased was.  Now I can't help but hear the peaking and distortion every time I play that track.

Not the piece of music in question, but at the moment I'm really enjoying Aphex Twin's Chosen Lords.  This compilation was released way back in 2006, so I'm late to the game once again.  PWSteal.Ldpinch.D is probably the best piece of electronic music I've heard in a long time.  Technically excellent but very very listenable.  Hari loves it when I play it, too - babies apparently start to love complex rhythms at about 8 weeks.  Cool!

Branding

At work, our toilets stock Achieva brand toilet paper.  I have to say, they live up to their name: I definitely Achieva'd a clean ass.

Snake oil

Scroll down to the reviews - they're hilarious:

http://www.amazon.com/Denon-AKDL1-Dedicated-Link-Cable/dp/B000I1X6PM

And, I guess if you're retarded and have $500 to spare, you could buy one, too.  Just don't forget to install it  with the arrows pointing in the correct direction, otherwise time will stop.

Robert's guide to buying a paper shredder

When buying a paper shredder, buy the cheapest piece of shit you can get your hands on.  Why?  Because paper shredders are basically a heavy weight placed on top of pogo stick.  When you knock them over - and you are going to knock them over eventually - the motor will die and you'll feel much better for not having bought the PowerCrunch 5000 with patented IntelliSafe Genital Protection Guard.

If you can't get your genitals into the shredder slot, then you're paying too much, basically.

Isn't he a bit old for that?

Gayatri's mom watches a bunch of Indian entertainment shows (Namaste America, Showbiz India, etc.) that mostly just play music videos from random Bollywood movies that all have the exact same actors, plots and runtimes. Particularly amusing is listening to the "reviews" by the hostess (it's always a hostess) that makes every film seem like an Orson Welles masterpiece, or a grave disappointment because they were not perceived to be like an Orson Welles masterpiece. Just to be clear, we're basically talking about 3 hour love triangles interspersed with frequent dance scenes filmed in New Zealand.

Tonight, one of the shows helpfully provided subtitles to the music videos. Some choice samples:

• "The girl betrayed her lover in such a way!"
• "Someone is frequently coming in my dreams!"

That sound you heard was me snorting my tea through my sinuses. Gayatri's mom thinks I find the whole Bollywood movie dancing thing just knee-slapping hilarious.

Professional dad observation

Seventh Generation diapers have the urine retention capabilities of an incontinent dog. Buy a pack of Pampers instead. "But what about the environment?" asks Goody Two Shoes. Yeah, well, it's 4AM and I'm changing my baby's clothes once again, so fuck the environment. Besides, think of all the water I'm saving not doing as much laundry.

Is there a treatment?